Thursday, June 7, 2012

The truths behind rewards and consequences in parenting by Dr Vin @ ePsychConnect.com


Part of parenting is to prepare our children for the "real world" and the real world is partly based on rewards and consequences.

If you do well, you might get a reward.

If you do not do so well, you might get some consequences whether it might be natural consequences or one that is enforced by some form of authority.

The reality is that for this to work, the child has to have the necessary skills to achieve the desired behaviour.

So next time your child is misbehaving and his behaviour is not improving despite consistent rewards and consequences, take a breath, step back from the situation and ask yourself, "Does my child actually have the skills here or is he naughty?"

If the answer is that he is "naughty", then the next step is to up the rewards or up the consequences.

If the answer is that he does not have the skill, then we need to "coach" him and help him to succeed rather than upping the consequences as upping the consequences here will only make the matter worse.

Share with us your thoughts.....

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