But...... is this way of thinking "helpful"?
When I counselled my patients about "life difficulties", I often talk about the 3 outcomes.
- You can become traumatized by the experience and carry the "baggage" with you.
- You can be stuck in "circular thinking" and essentially, be "limbo".
- Or.... you can grow from the experience and become more resilient.
In essence, life difficulties with a good therapeutic dose of support, can be in itself, an opportunity to grow.
When applying this concept to raising children, the belief that "My children should not have to suffer", may not always be helpful. This belief is obviously useful because it compels us to protect our children, but on the flipside, it may lead us to excessive worry and become "overprotective". If a child has everything in his or her life and not have to suffer, do you think that they will ever grow as a person?
Consider a more "helpful" or "realistic" belief like, "My children will inevitably suffer at some stage in their life but this will help them grow. I just need to support and equip them with the skills to overcome those life challenges."
Food for thought....
Dr Vin Tran
MBBS FRACGP University of Qld
Accredited TripleP Provider