Monday, August 8, 2011

Part of Good Parenting is About Having Realistic Expectations

Part of good parenting is about having realistic expectations.  But the problem is...."What is realistic?"

I often say that life is a balancing act of "a lot" of things.  If life is not challenging enough, then the child does not thrive.  If it is too challenging, then they might get overwhelmed and get "traumatized" by the experience.  The trick is I think, to set some challenges but to have the support behind them in order to help them succeed in that challenge.  If they are getting distressed, anxious and depressed from the experience, then the questions we have to ask ourselves are that ...

1 Are they at the right developmental age for what I expect them to do?
2 They might be good at other things but do they actually have the skills in "this" area?
3 Do they have enough support in order to learn the skills to overcome the challenges?
4 Are we pushing them too much?

Depending on what the answer is, will dictate our next line of action...

Dr Vin